Week 4: My Big Fat Tajik Wedding
~Special Edition~ I attended my neighbor's traditional Tajik wedding! (7/17)
Because I had limited WiFi in Dushanbe, I decided to journal everyday and upload blog posts / highlights after I returned! I’ll be breaking these up into weekly posts, with key events or days that made my Tajikistan experience special. I hope you enjoy reminiscing with me on my six-week journey. I miss it already. :)
POSTS
Week 1: Welcome to Dushanbe
Week 1: 1st Day with My Host Family! (Рӯзи Аввал бо Оила мизбонам) - full day
Week 2: Easing In, оҳиста, оҳиста...
Week 2: Bet on It, Bet on It (A “Bazaar” Day)
Week 3: Tests, Dictionaries, Other Nerdy Things
Week 3: Embassy PARTAY & Hike!!!
Week 4: Hitting My Stride
Week 4: My Big Fat Tajik Wedding
During lunch today, a couple of us dropped by Rudaki Plaza. I exchanged money, and managed to ask for smaller bills instead of 100s! But after class is when the drama really began.
So class ended at 3, and we had an hour to kill before dance class at 4. BUT, I found out my family wanted me to come home at 2 for our neighbor’s wedding, even though they didn’t mention it before and texted me during class. So, I speed-walked home in 10 minutes, then found out from my host sister that the visiting-homes part of the wedding was over (Carly helped translate over the phone, haha). So then, I started walking back to dance, all-dejected, but Mavzuna was all dressed up, and told me to come with her to somewhere! So then, Firuza made me get dressed and get ready in two minutes while I was still sweaty from my walk over. She also did some horrendous makeup on me, and sent me on my way -- to the wedding.
We took a taxi (in which I told Mavzuna it was dangerous without seatbelts, but she just smiled) to a big palace-like hotel, where the bride and groom were signing a book - part of the wedding ceremony traditions, I guess. And I think we made it just in time! I was IN all the group pictures, which was a little awkward but also quite funny, since most of the people there had no idea who I was and why I was there. Afterwards, we waited a little bit outside by the I Love Dushanbe sign while the couple took a few dramatic photos and videos. I did manage to sneak back in to take a few pics!
Anyways, I then squeezed into a normal-sized car with about seven other people, and they dropped me off at home. Keep in mind, I had no real idea of what exactly I was going to do, or where I was going. So when I started to think that I’d just spend the night at home, my family sent me on another taxi with a couple of neighbors to a restaurant that was HUGE. We were seated in a banquet hall, with fancy pillars, a flower arch, an open space in the middle to dance, and many, many tables. The tables had SO much food, and I ate salad, two mantus, and some chicken. I soon found out those were just “appetizers” once they brought out the actual meal of potatoes/veggies/meat. Then, there was a SECOND meal with chips and meat, and also ice cream at the really end. I was so stuffed by the end!!!
There were a lot of cameras and rigs, along with a live band. At some point, a lady came out to sing. There were multiple dances by professional dancers that were so beautiful. There were a number traditional ones, one with an apparently extremely famous male Tajik dancer, one with a Spanish song and flamenco, and also one that reminded me of ballet a little.
I wanted to take more photos, but Shahnoza said no every time I asked, for some reason. I managed a few though, because Shahnoza called over a young woman to help me. I even went out to dance a few times: once with a few girls a little younger than me, once when a random older lady pulled me up to dance. Moyra (Gholib’s wife) and Shahnoza didn’t dance though; they looked quite serious the whole time.
A couple of observations I had:
the older sister redoing the tiara on her toddler sister’s head (reminds me of my sister)
The older bro picking up the younger and kissing him on the cheek (so cute)
Little girls tugging on the dancers’ braids during their dances
The men and women sitting/dancing separately (this fascinated me)
The bride and groom sat at the far end of the banquet hall, behind a long, raised table the whole time, and I don’t even think the bride smiled at all. It seems like such an extravagant wedding with so many details, expectations and traditions would put a lot of pressure on her. After all, weddings were paramount in Tajik life and custom. I do hope she enjoyed herself a little, though!
Anyways, Khurshed apparently knows Chinese and English, and my family hinted that I had a possibility of congratulating him by speaking with the mic! So here’s some notes that I prepared (the grammar is extremely awkward, but it’s understandable):
我首先想祝福一下新的夫妻， Хуршед ва Тобон。
家人朋友聚合在一起，庆祝这特别的日子，我们都为你们很高兴！
我们希望你们两个这一辈子在一起会在开心的日子欣赏生活和你的陪伴的笑容，也会在困难的日子里互相协助，互相安徽，让你们的爱永远活下去，像一朵宝贵的, 一直不卸的玫瑰花。
祝你们这人生，一直快乐。恭喜！
I first want to congratulate the new couple, Khurshed and Tobon. With family/friends gathered together, celebrating this special day, we are all very happy for you!
We hope that in this lifetime, you two will appreciate life and your partner’s laughter through the happy days, and also that you’ll support and comfort one another through difficult days — so your love can live in forever, like a precious, never-wilting rose.
Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. Congratulations!
Unfortunately, I never got to say this because even though Mavzuna asked, Khurshed’s dad (I think?) just snorted at her request, saying that no one would understand me. She didn’t protest once after, and Shahnoza said there was nothing they could do. From that, I could definitely see the more patriarchal, Tajik family structure at play. I was a little disappointed, but I knew I was a guest and had to be respectful, so I quietly tucked away my speech.
At the end of the celebrations, we bought photos that the photographers took of the guests (see Shahnoza and I!), then followed the elaborate bride/groom procession out the door. Amidst the chaos, we grabbed a car back.
Once home, I thought it was over, but then we went to the neighbors’ house across the street to take pictures of the bride! For the final part of the wedding, they bring the couple into the husband’s home, and say prayers and blessings. I was too embarrassed to get too close, so Firuza grabbed my phone and took a bunch of pictures and videos for me. I was standing outside the room where the prayers were taking place, but a kind lady said I could go inside!! So I saw some of the singing/prayers an old lady was in charge of, over the bride and groom, in presumably their new room. I think there was a slight mishap though - with the smaller room, all the people inside, and the humongous dress on top of that, I think the bride was feeling faint — so everyone was shooed out early. Oh dear! She was alright by the end though, just a bit tired.
While I probably didn’t have as chaotic of a day as Hurshed and Tobon (though I might come pretty close), I was also quite spent. So after doing some homework and attempting to transfer some photos to Firuza’s tablet, I went promptly to sleep.
Thanks for tuning in to my Tajikistan travels! Hopefully I'll be able to upload Week 5 before the New Year :)
